I have decisions to make and I don’t know right from wrong. No matter what I do, someone could end up hurt. What am I supposed to do when there is no black or white, only gray?
It has been a week like that. A week where I don’t have clear direction. The decisions I’ve made today might be the wrong ones, but I really have no idea.
Proverbs 3:5-6 says:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart;
do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do,
and he will show you which path to take.
Yet I didn’t know which path to take today.
Things are just not always in my control. When circumstances come up without a clear right or wrong direction, I can only guess what my next move should be. Maybe it is because I am young, but sometimes it feels like one step in the wrong direction can cause my whole life to blow up in my face. This causes me to desperately look for solutions, believing that any action is better than no action at all.
Today I prayed, I sought the advice of people wiser than I am and I cried until my family begged me to stop. After a long, emotional day, I remembered that I do know a few things for sure. I know I love my family. I know I love the friends I have been blessed with and I feel loved in return. I know that my God is in control and my world really isn’t coming down in my own little apocalypse.
My life is a minefield, but my life is still good.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.